He Said, He Said

A Futile Attempt to Get Serious with Frank Romano and Dr. Joe Webb

The most memorable event at our Conference last year had to be the "Clash of the Titans" dinner keynote delivered by Frank Romano and Dr. Joe Webb. Widely considered to be among the most influential printing pundits worldwide, Frank and Joe brought down the house with dueling PowerPoints, rat-a-tat repartee, and amiable zingers - all done in good fun (are you buying this?). They are back this fall to deliver the opening Keynote Breakfast on Thursday, September 11th. We are calling this one, "Dr. No and Dr. Know Are at It Again." Dr. Webb is lovingly referred to as "Dr. Doom" by some industry folks, for his oft-dire economic predictions. Frank Romano is Dr. Know, because you cannot stump the man with anything related to print, including typography, publishing, and incunabula (look it up). Experiencing a keynote by these two titans of print is the absolute best way to kick off our Conference. Everyone will laugh, some may even cry - but all will be entertained. The insights (not insults) will fly back and forth between them, and you will leave wondering…what hit you?

Frank Romano Dr. Joe Webb

I wondered what they have in store for us, so I asked both gentlemen a few questions.

Margie: It's going to be hard for you two to top last year's keynote. What will you focus on this time?

Frank: I was thinking of a regression analysis of employment trends in print buying by the insurance industry from 1956 to 1965 in the Flemish region of Belgium. It's a riot.

Dr. Joe: I'm confused. Did you call us gentlemen? How to top last year's keynote? First, it will be in the morning, so being awake will be a good start. Second, I'll read the newspaper and just blurt out what someone else said and call it my own.

Margie: Will the recent drupa 2008 (largest trade show in the world, held every four years in Germany) figure into your presentations? Will we get the benefit of some of the news unveiled there?

Frank: There was no news from Drupa. Every supplier said they had nothing to announce and all press releases were blank. 391,000 people attended, had some beer, and left.

Dr. Joe: I didn't go to drupa, but arranged for someone to mail postcards back to the U.S. with comments like "Having a great time since I've been able to avoid Frank Romano the whole show. Wish you were here." So I just had my feet up at home watching baseball games and munching on popcorn. I'll read Frank's WhatTheyThink column and attempt to say whatever he said before he gets the chance. Then I'll say something like "gosh Frank, it sounds like you really didn't do much at drupa."

Margie: Frank, since you just spent about 6 months traveling around the world, will you be sharing print insights of a global nature - and will we need translators?

Frank: I found a tribe of Malaysian print buyers on the north slope of Mount Kinabalu. They communicate job specifications using e-smoke signals. Boston-based print buyers use a similar system.

Dr. Joe: Frank always needs translators. People spend hours with him and they walk out wondering what it was that he really said.

Margie: The economy stinks. I don't have to be Dr. Joe Webb to know that. Will you two relate printing and its future to the economy - and in such a way that it won't spoil our breakfast?

Frank: The economy is the personal responsibility of Dr. Joe. I only know that filling my tank required a loan from the World Bank.

Dr. Joe: The economy stinks in a different way this time. If the economy didn't stink, the use of print would still be changing. So whether or not there is the odor of recession in the air, there's an incredible amount of cool stuff going on in communications technology that anyone who uses print really has to think about. Now if they would make all those new gadgets with markings that I don't need my glasses to see, that would be a real step forward. I tried to use a Sony E-Reader one day. It was great: I could set the font size to 16, but couldn't read any of the button labels to learn how I could advance the pages.

Margie: Ok, what can the audience expect to learn from you both during your keynote?

Frank: How print buyers can get pay raises in 2009.

Dr. Joe: That with two bald men yapping in front of them all morning, it's a good idea to eat light. A heavy meal while listening to Dr. Doom is not advised. They'll also learn that Frank's really funny when he tries to not laugh after taking a gulp of coffee. It comes from years of watching "Make Room for Daddy" with Danny Thomas. Ah, but I'm dating myself. And if people could date themselves, there would be no need for marriage.

Last-Word-Margie: Folks, I couldn't make this stuff up. To appreciate the full flavor of the industry's resident funny guys (be forewarned: there's more than a whiff of Keystone Cops about them), meet us at the show one month from today on the 11th.

Will it be an even match of wits - or will there be a last print comic standing? You be the judge.

Join us for this keynote breakfast from 8:30 till 10 am on Thursday, September 11th. When you register for the Conference, check off the box for this session to ensure you get a seat.

Then hang onto it.

Comments? Talk to me at mdana@bostonprintbuyers.com.

©2008 Margie Dana. All rights reserved. You're free to forward this email to friends and colleagues: please do! However, no part of this column may be reprinted without permission from the author.

Print Buyer Conference Update

September 11th - 12th, 2008

Sheraton Boston Hotel, Boston, MA

We held a special drawing this summer for a FREE Conference pass, and I'd happy to announce the winner: it's Kyle Allen of Vreeland Marketing & Design in Yarmouth, ME! Way to go, Kyle!

Exhibitors, there are only 7 booths left. Don't be left out! Go to www.printbuyersconference.com and click on Exhibitors, or contact Barbara Graham at (978) 490-0010 for details.

Registration questions? Contact info@printbuyersinternational.com.

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