The Lighter Side of Printing

The following humorous anecdotes were contributed by subscribers of Margie's Print Tips.

Stinkin' Print!

Not sure if this is exactly what you are looking for, but it was funny to us. We had been printing books in China for a about a year without incident when a book arrived that was so foul-smelling it would make you feel sick. While we were trying to figure out what happened, we put the book aside, but even closed, the smell was unbearable. Eventually, we wrapped it in a plastic bag and tucked it away in the desk drawer of an empty office. We suspected the shipment had gotten sprayed or something, but the books were shrink-wrapped. We investigated the paper it was printed on and questioned if there was anything different about the inks. I think the final resolution had something to do with the glue. I am not sure, but that smelly book was the talk of the office for months. For a while, smelling books became part of the QC check as new books arrived from offshore manufacturers. To my knowledge, it has never happened again.

Save the Deckle!

I don't know if it is an urban legend, but did you ever hear the "save the deckle" story? As the story goes, the first shift pressroom supervisor left notes for the 2nd shift including instructions regarding an invitation that was being printed. He cautioned them to be careful to "save the deckle." The next morning when he came in there was a box on his desk containing, you guessed it - the fuzzy remnants of the trimmed-off deckle edge.

Music to Print by

This was years ago, when ZBR was young... maybe even before they split off from CameraStat (in Bedford, MA). I telephoned them to make an inquiry about a print job they were working on, and my rep's line was busy. The "hold" music came on, and the song playing was "You Can't Always Get What You Want" ... which I thought was perfect for a print company and should always be played when someone is calling with a complaint!

Typo Near-Miss

There was a section listing members of the Executive committee. They were all well established lawyers/judges. The title of the section was the issue.

Instead of Executive Committee, we typeset "Execution Committee" - not a good thing to have your name associated with. Thankfully, it was caught in the proofing stage!

The Press Check from Hell

This happened on a press check outside of the country. I received a phone call for a middle of the night press check at my hotel from the sales rep who was also staying at the same hotel. We were to be at the plant as soon as possible to check a form for a very large print run, with approvals about every 6 hours. Unfortunately, he fell back asleep and left me waiting (mostly milling around by the elevator) in the lobby of the hotel at 2 am. The front desk clerk assumed I was up to "suspicious activity." Picture a lone female in a hotel lobby at 2 am and use your imagination.

Well, the police showed up and I was detained and questioned until I could prove that I was actually conducting legitimate business. I can laugh about this now - years later - but I was horrified! Needless to say, I never used that printer again.

"Don't Thank Me…"

In the early 90s I had to send a fax of a design for a 3-ring binder cover insert to the client. This was in the days before PDFs. Unfortunately, our fax machine was waiting on a repair person, so I drove to a nearby client and asked to use their fax machine. Simple enough, until the person who received the insert design called to say they loved the background.

However, we had not created any background design! Subsequent follow-up found that the borrowed fax machine had an electronic noise pattern that created a wavy line background on all outgoing faxes, and “they were meaning to get it fixed”.

As soon as our fax machine was repaired, I had the client with the defective fax machine send me a fax of a plain white sheet of paper. Lo and behold, there was our custom background design, which was then converted to a negative and used to produce the custom background for the inserts.

The Magic of Matching a PMS

How about a press check story??? Illustrates creativity by a pressman.

A doctor redecorated his office and wanted his print materials to match his wall paint. He brought in the stir stick with the paint on it to match as a PMS color on press. Of course the PMS ink wouldn't match the paint. The pressman tried a lot of color moves, but no match. After several attempts and a long time on press, everyone decided to break. While on break, the pressman dipped the stir stick in the PMS ink and dried it. When everyone returned to complete the press check, the ink matched the stir stick exactly, and everyone was happy. The Doctor never complained about non matching print.

Oops!

I used to work for a company that published a book on behavioral science, and the author spelled his name in an unconventional way: "Theadore" instead of the usual "Theodore." When the cover designer submitted sketches, everyone swore it was wrong, and we double-checked, but sure enough, that's the way the author spelled it. When the designer made the mechanical (yes, it was that long ago), everyone scrutinized it again, certain the author's name was a mistake--but it wasn't.

When the printers sent their proof, another alarm went up, "Are you sure that name is right?" We checked, and it was correct.

A couple of weeks later, a carton of bound books arrived, and an assistant from marketing picked one up, looked at the cover and said, "Oh, 'Behavioral' is spelled wrong!" It had been wrong from the very beginning, but no one had noticed it because we were so fixated on the author's name.

Baby Blues

I entered the print world a few years out of college, with a business degree and purchasing background. I was small, young, and female.......a sure challenge for the lead pressman. It was at a plant with over 20 presses, rolling non-stop to meet the end of school yearbook needs. I ordered production materials throughout the plant, including items for the press room. One day I was walking through the plant when the pressman stopped me and asked if I was responsible for purchases in his area. Before I could respond he continued, "Good thing you're here, because I need a blanket for the press. Check out Sears and see if you can get us a baby blue one."

I've spent many years since that time working in print, but I've often wondered if other new buyers got that same comment. I've decided it was his way of "welcoming me to the world of print."

Sit on It

My former boss, Phyllis, told me about the time she got a batch of annual report samples hot off the press, and her boss Roger insisted she show him one right away.

Whether the paper was too thin or the ink coverage was too heavy, the books refused to lie flat.

To buy some time, Phyllis sat on a few samples for a good long time while making small talk with Roger, hoping that the reports would "settle down" and stop curling up.

I don't recall how long she had to sit there. I thought it quite resourceful of her.

©2009 Margie Dana. All rights reserved.